Vegeta's Surprise Birthday Party
by Navi
Summary: In my book, it would be PG15....but that doesn't exist. Vegeta gets a surpise birthday party and whats this??? A new Saiyajin level. Read and find out what happend to everyone'd favorite Saiyajin. Kinda Goku bashing. R&R.


A/N: Hey ya'll!!!! Me and J-San are back!!!! This time with a DBZ story. We don't own anything from DBZ...unfortunately Funimation owns it. Funimation needs to die damnit!!!!!!! Ok I'm done spazzing. R&R  
  
Vegeta's Surprise Birthday Party  
  
  
Vegeta burst into his house after a long day at work. "Bluma! Trunks! I'm home!" he yelled into the house. Silence answered him. "Say something women! Boy where are you? Answer!" His words echoed though the house. Vegeta kicked off his shoes and sat down on the sofa. He put his feet up on the coffee table, looked around, and then put them back down. He picked up his mug of coffee that he had left there in the morning. It was one that his family had given him for his birthday last year. It had '# 1 Egotistical Maniac' written on it. " Damn this mug!" swore the prince as he read the words to himself. As he took a sip of the cold caf he noticed a note sitting next to the remote control. Vegeta picked it up and read it aloud to himself. It said;  
  
"Dear Vegetable Man,  
We, the mighty androids 16 and 17, have kidnapped your wife and son! You have two choices of methods to respond to our ransom note. You can pay us the Son Goku's power level plus the number of Super Saiyajin levels times the number if Nameks in Piccolo minus the number of times you have had a haircut to the Chi-Chi's kid's power zeni. (a/n: can you solve that?) Or you could hunts us down and take them from us! Since we can't be sensed and we are forcing you son to keep his power level down, we doubt if choice two is a possibility.  
Your Friends,  
16 and 17."  
Vegeta shredded the letter as his power grew and he turned completely yellow. "DAMN THOSE ANDROIDS!"  
  
In the woods near Piccolo's waterfall 16,17. Trunks, and Bluma were preparing for Vegeta's surprise birthday party. "He found the note," Trunks said as he helped 17 set up the table.  
"Good. That means that 16 and I aren't wasting our time helping you guys out," responded 17. "Check out the Ki flare! He's pissed!"   
16 smiled happily. "He'll be surprised!"  
" That's the point 16." 17 said.  
" 16, come get this cake!" called Bluma. She had made it to big for her to carry.  
  
  
"THEY WON'T ESCAPE MY WRATH!!!!!!" Vegeta raved as he flew towards two strong powers. He came to a stop where Piccolo and Goku were sparring. "Damn you both!" said Vegeta in his usual greeting.  
"Hey Vegeta, look at you," Goku said with a grin.  
"What do you want idiot?" Vegeta growled.  
" You're totally yellow," Piccolo said. " If you stand in front of the sun and shut your eyes no one would see you."  
"So I reached a new Super Saiyjin level! Now..."  
" Awwwwww! I wanna be SSJ 5!" complained Goku. "But then how would we know you from me?"  
"You could be completely pink," joked Piccolo.  
"Really?" Goku shrilled happily. "You think I would look good in pink?"  
"Sure..." Piccolo said as he suppressed laughing.  
"ALL RIGHT!!! I get to be pink! Just like Sailor Chibi Moon!" As Goku spazzed over the color pink and Sailor Chibi Moon, Vegeta telepathically conversed with Piccolo.  
"You're the only other person here other then myself that can form a coherent thought and I'm in no mood to deal with Kakarott's idiocy! Androids 16 and 17 kidnapped my family!"  
" Well, 16's too stupid to think up that idea. And even if he did, he has enough sense not to try it..."  
"Damn straight!" interrupted Vegeta.   
"...so 17's probably the brains behind the whole scheme. Go see his sister at Kuririn's house," finished Piccolo.  
"Where in the bowels of King Yemma's desk does he live?" Vegeta asked.  
" About 200 miles west of Kame House." Vegeta blasted off to the location Piccolo specified.  
" Oi, Piccolo! C'mon, lets practice some more! I wanna turn pink!  
  
At Kame House, Master Roshi was laying out on his lawn chair with a porn magazine over his eyes. Vegeta flew overhead and created a sonic boom the generated a tidal wave the size of the Shenlong that totally engulfed Kame Island. As the water subsided, Kame House was no more, but Master Roshi and his porno remained untouched.  
  
Vegeta landed at Kuririn's front door and knocked on it, sending it flying though the walls and smacked 16 in the face at Piccolo's waterfall. "Hi!" said 18 cheerily as she answered the door remains. "What's up Vegetable Man?"  
"Where is that damned brother of yours? And why must you androids call me 'Vegetable Man?"  
"The answer to both questions is that I don't know. Say, is that a new Super Saiyajin level? Y'know if you stand in front of the sun and shut your eyes no one would see you," responded 18.  
"Yes I know!"  
"Say, Vegeta! Try Satan City! I saw 17 there about a week ago near Gohan's school!" Kuririn shouted from the top of the stairs.  
"Thanks! Damn both of you to H.F.I.L.!" Vegeta flew off in the direction of Gohan's school. He slowed as he approached the school. He landed and burst into the principal's office. He killed the administration to bleed away some of his anger and snatched up the P.A. speaker. " Kakarott's Kid to the dead principal's office on the double! Move your lazy ass boy!" Vegeta screamed into the mike. Gohan burst into the office.  
" I didn't do it! I'm not the Saiyaman! Oh.....hi Vegeta," Gohan blurted. Vegeta lifted Gohan by the collar of his Namek style clothes and began shaking him violently.  
"Boy, do you know the whereabouts of Androids 16 and 17?" Vegeta asked.  
"N-n-n-n-no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o," Gohan said. His voice shook in rhythm with Vegeta's shaking. "B-b-b-bu-u-u-u-t-t si-si-sixt-ee-ee-n l-l-ike-s-s P-p-p-pic-co-o-o-l-lo-o-o's w-w-wat-er-er-er-fa-fa-ll. Di-d-d y-y-you-ou-ou kn-know-ow tha-t-t if you stoo-oo-d in- fro-on-ont of th-the su-u-un a-and sh-sh-ut you-r-r ey-ey-es no-o-o o-ne c-c-ould-d- s-ee-ee-ee y-y-ou?'  
"YES DAMIT!" Vegeta shrieked. He dropped Gohan and flew towards Piccolo's old hangout.  
  
"He's coming," Trunks warned. 17 stood up and jumped out of the tree where he had been blowing up balloons.  
"I will delay him," said 17. "My sister's family and the Son family have not yet arrived." 17 flew away to delay the enraged Saiyajin.  
"17! There you are, you bastard!" Vegeta snarled as he halted in front of 17.  
"Yes. Here I am. Did you know that if you stood in front of the sun and shut your eyes no one would see you?" said 17 calmly.  
"YES! I FUCKING KNOW THAT IF I STOOD IN FRONT OF THE SUN AND SHUT MY EYES NO ONE WOULD SEE ME!" roared Vegeta. " NOW RETURN MY WIFE AND KID!"  
"Calm yourself. They are safe with 16." 17 barely caught Vegeta's fist as the SSJ5 warrior punched at him. Though 17's core could produce unlimited energy, it itself was not on unlimited warranty. He felt it come near to over heating by simply moving his arm at the Saiyajin's speed. "Let's have a race to Piccolo's waterfall. Do you know where it is?" asked 17. Vegeta pointed an angry finger in the direction it was. " Good. We'll race to its bottom. Ready...Go!" 17 took off with Vegeta on his tail.  
"I'm going to remake you into a new disposal when I catch you!" threatened Vegeta. 17 felt the temperature in his core rise dangerously close to the danger zone as he fought to keep ahead of Vegeta. Finally they reached the waterfall. 17 dove into the cold water and felt his core cool down. He narrowly beat Vegeta to the bottom. He got out of the water and leaned up against a tree. Vegeta came up and moved toward 17.  
"Now, for your ultimate..."  
"SURPRISE!" everyone shouted. Vegeta's Super Saiyajin 5 wore off as the shock of the surprise hit him. Piccolo gave him a long range slap under the chin to close his gaping mouth.  
"Wow. I've almost convinced myself not to kill you all," Vegeta babbled in surprise. At that moment Goku walked into the clearing.  
"Hey surprise Vegeta! Lookie what I can do!" Goku turned into a pink Super Saiyajin level 5.  
"I've decided to kill you all anyway!" Vegeta shouted and resumed his SSJ 5 form.  
"Damn Dad! I told you not to do that," Goten sighed.  
  
One year later, after Dende had wished everyone back and things were fine. Vegeta had a new mug bearing the words '# 1 SSJ5 Egoistical Maniac.' His wife and son never conspired with 16 and 17 again to give him a surprise party, Gohan now spoke with a horrible stutter all the time, and Kame House had yet to be rebuilt. Vegeta smiled happily as he shipped his cold coffee from his newest mug. "Woman! Bring me some fresh coffee!" His request was answered with a note.  
'Dear Vegetable Man, this time I seriously have kidnapped your family. We have a race and a fight to settle.  
Happy Birthday, Android 17.'  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Now that you have learned not to give Vegeta a surprise birthday party, you will review this story or J-San and I will be forced to hunt you down and feed you to the piranhas. Bye now ^_^  
  
  
  



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